Bills Before Wills

I readily admit that I’ve been more than a bit scattered since my Mom died.  As such, I don’t feel that I fully grasp information, or even that I’ve gotten the full picture.  Because of this, I’ve asked the same question over and over, and I worked to get my family to slow down on distributing things from Mom’s house.  As such, only two “things” were exempt from the will, which meant everything else belonged to the estate.

This is where things got rocky from the start and caused a major earthquake sized “FUCK YOU” in my last childhood sibling relationship (the other one being dead; and the other 3 not having grown up with us). I finally, last Sunday, got the FINAL WORD on what to do.  It was, yes a sentimental item or two can be taken and can be overlooked (provided it’s really not valuable).  Aside from that, everything else belongs to the estate and, as the executor (read: Estate’s Bitch/Pip/Minion) it’s my job to sell them to pay of the deceased’s debts.

Yes, friends.  BILLS BEFORE WILLS.  Although it is LISTED in the will that the executor can, and indeed may need to, sell the personal items to try to settle the estate, I wasn’t really sure to what extent that was necessary.  It’s pretty necessary since I have to list pretty much EVERYTHING, where it went, and what it went for. Which means that I can be sued for mismanaging the estate’s assets.

You’d think with information like this, that my family would lighten up on me.  Instead a full-fledged attack was waged on my character and actions.  Since 90% of this was on Facebook, and I was pretty busy trying to clean up my Mom’s house to put on the market, I missed it.  That said, people who had a glimpse of the vitriol prior to being blocked were stunned.  I’m guessing it’s hard to be considered the victim and good person when you’re writing amazingly hateful things about someone on a public forum.  Then again, there is the small blessing of business combined with a lack of smart phone that kept me from knowing, partaking, or even commenting on said campaign.  Which is good, because, in the immortal words of Chris Trees, “Don’t engage the Trolls.”

Since this whole thing began, it’s been a huge issue that I would have to sell my mom’s possessions to satisfy her debts.  Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how people can think that I WANT to do this.  As if, of all the options in the world, selling things to satisfy bills was my idea of fun and entertainment? But then it finally dawned on me, we aren’t talking about people of integrity or honor to begin with.  After all, the same people who would readily allow my mom to live in filth; borrowed large amounts of money which were not repaid either a) at all, b) in entirety, or c) in cash, or d) all of the above; and who accepted lavish gifts of dinners, items or bill paying placed on her credit card were not the kind of people who would feel that following the law was a priority.  After all, they don’t pay their bills so why should the estate?

You’d think after all of this, I’d be broken and wounded.  Instead, I feel relieved.  Now that the rest of the family refuses to have anything to do with me, I’m free.

Just as soon as I settle this estate.