Since I read every crap magazine you can find, I know a lot more about Britney, Christina, Miley, and Lindsay than I know about members of my own extended family. Seriously. As such, I feel incredibly qualified to state that we HATE them. Sure, we love the ORIGINAL Disney Princesses (Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc.), but the ones who grew up on the Disney Channel, not so much.
We hate them so much we can’t stand their clothes, their weight, their hair or how they do their make-up. When they fall down or make a mistake, we’re there to run them over to make sure they get that WE DON’T LIKE THEM.
Mind you, I don’t know WHY we hate them, but we do. I tend to think of it as a feminist thing. After all, Ryan Gosling cannot get enough good press. Macaulay Culkin seems like a hot mess, but everyone is pulling for him. Lindsay Lohan, on the other hand, can go rot in hell for being a lesbian shoplifter who looks old and parties too much.
Seriously these women are either too fat, too thin, too skanky, too trying too hard, too SOMETHING. If they do manage, through some stroke of luck or publicist’s hard work, to land on a best dressed or other list, it’s a miracle and we just hope they can keep it up.
So I say one more time. If I had any one of those bodies (even post-baby Britney), I’d be NAKED ALL THE TIME! I like that they seem real enough to dress as they please, to make mistakes, and even get a little crazy. Life is like that. After all, you’d be crazy too if no one liked you, but they’d never met you.
C’mon, give ’em a break. And by that I don’t mean turn your attention to Devi, Demi, Jessica, or Amanda. We need to be nice to ALL women.