I admit that I haven’t done much with my homework from Thursday’s class on thinking distortions. If you’re not aware of these, thinking distortions are the automatic thinking patterns all people have about themselves, others, life in general, etc. They aren’t really distorted thinking until they are regularly negative, judgmental, exaggerated, and inflexible or rigid. Once thoughts take on these patterns, they help you distort reality causing feelings of loneliness, stress, depression, anger, helplessness, distrust, hopelessness, or fear. Or, in most cases, many of the above simultaneously!
My job this week has been to recognize a stressful situation or event, figure out what was happening in my mind or with my body, and then to challenge the thinking distortion.
Except that I’ve had nothing really stressful occur since last Thursday. School is out. Friday was spent cleaning my room so that the next teacher who’s moving into it could (moving grades means I’m moving inside the main building, and she’s moving to a portable outside). She kept checking with me to see if it was OK to move things, and I had to reassure her that it was my expectation. She’s going to spend the summer training TFA students. She didn’t have time to spend weeks slowly moving her possessions. I was aware of that, respected it, and wanted things ready for her. In part because that’s how I want things done for me. Maybe there were opportunities for thought distortions, but I was too busy to find them?
Likewise Saturday when I was too busy cleaning. It had been so long since I’d done it, and I was both motivated and energetic enough to focus on it. We were having Keb’s sleep-over so I wanted to have most of the downstairs cleaned up. I have to admit, the old, pre-med me, would have been freaking out at the number of kids who were late (we had a strict 5:00 show up time in order to go jumping); however, given that the place didn’t take half-hour starts, I didn’t worry about it. When I accidentally ended up with twice as much pizza as I planned (in part because trying to use the smart-phone part of my phone didn’t seem to be working), I didn’t get mad or freak out.
I’ve had, to my knowledge, no thought distortions because the meds keep me even keeled. I do wonder what will happen when I get weaned off of them, but for now, I’m just enjoying life and not being in a pissy mood. Maybe that feeling alone will inspire me to use these skills when the time comes.