Every year that I deal with tweens or teens, I give them the same talk. It’s not quite advice so much as a world view I would like them to accept.
I tell them sincerely. I’m not the prettiest woman, the sweetest, the kindest, the skinniest, or even the smartest. However, with all that, I know that my husband is not the first or only person to be in love with me. He’s just the best person to love me. I remind them that, just sitting there, they have been considered crush-worthy by someone else.
Then I point out that if someone likes them just sitting there, being who they are, then who they are is worthy of love. And that maybe being in love is always focusing or seeing the best parts of a person. Therefore, the best person to love them will accept them as they really are. Hence, not so important to change who you are to please someone else.
I can only hope they take to heart that they are worthy of love and who they are is loveable.