Marriage

I live in California.  We had same-sex marriage, then there was an amendment to classify marriage as between one man and one woman, and then there was the declaration of the amendment as unconstitutional.  Now what? More states are adding the definition of marriage to their ballots to limit it to one man and one woman.  Sigh.  Why?

Honestly, I don’t get it at all.  In fact, as far as I can tell if someone want to get all “traditional” and “Biblical” on marriage, then they need to remove love, add a dowry, and see that these are political alliances between families.  In fact, if we really want to be old-school about it, we should be emulating what happens in Afghanistan and many other Middle Eastern Countries.

No.  Oh… Why not?  That’s right.  Traditional marriages SUCK!  Most people really don’t want their parents choosing for them when they’re 4, or marrying them off to someone 50 years older, or subjecting them to rape at 14 all for the sake of money or property.  Furthermore, we could just go 1960s America making interracial marriages illegal as well.  NO?  Well, why the hell not?

Now that we’re past that, can we accept that, as societies, we’re always redefining what it means to be married? Included in that is going to be the concept of same-sex marriage.  Why not same-sex marriage?

ARGUMENT ONE

Marriage is for procreation only.  Which is why we don’t let people procreate outside of marriage.  We do?  Oh. You mean people can get pregnant without being married?  Huh.  How ’bout that.  Well, it’s why we check to see if people are fertile before we let them marry.  Oh, we don’t. That’s an invasion of privacy? OK, well it’s why we don’t let post-menopausal women get married.  Wait?  Your 80 year-old grandmother was able to get married?  But she can’t have children….  So right.  That’s bullshit.  That’s not why marriage exists so let’s throw that argument out the window.

ARGUMENT TWO

Same-sex marriage undermines traditional marriage.  I’m pretty sure I’m undermining traditional marriage.  I don’t even know what it is.   I didn’t get a form.  I’m not checking off boxes of achievement.  Most of the time I’m lucky I’m loved enough not to be tossed out of the house.  I don’t stay at home, clean the house, do all the chores, schedule appointments, cook dinner, mend, and basically have everything under control for when my husband arrives home to lead the family.  F*ck that sh*t. They let me get married.

ARGUMENT THREE

No, really.  It undermines traditional marriage.  These people won’t take marriage seriously. These people?  Hell, I know heterosexuals who don’t take it seriously.  We’re really just going to pick on homosexuals for that?  Do the names Liz Taylor, Kim Kardashian, Brittney Spears, Drew Barrymore, Dennis Rodman, and others not ring a bell?  Heck, I had a grandmother who was married MANY times (often while drunk so they don’t count).  I don’t think same-sex marriage can do worse for the name of marriage.  Really.

ARGUMENT FOUR

The Bible tells me so.  The Bible tells you all sorts of other things you aren’t following as well (cover your hair, wear white, no mixed fabrics, don’t envy, don’t gossip, eye for an eye, etc.).  The whole Old Testament seems to be a land-mine of rules to follow outside the 10 Commandments.  Hell, we don’t follow those either ’cause it’s not just in deed that you keep those but also in heart, mind and thoughts.  Since you’re most likely cherry-picking among the many rules and prescriptions, you can let this one pass as well.  In the past 3-4 thousand years, I’d like to think things have changed.  Let’s be better people.  Also, can you just make sure the rule you’re referring to isn’t one of Hammurabi’s Code?  Remember him?  Pre-Judiasm.  So you may not be sure that his rules are from your God.  Just saying.

WHY SAME-SEX MARRIAGE?

It’s the right thing to do.  Straight up.  As a society we should embrace anyone who wants to conform to society’s norms.  I think the fact that we have a population of people who see marriage as relevant at a time when heterosexuals don’t is pretty amazing. Generally marriage stabilizes relationships, the community, and is the grounds for happier child-rearing.  Who wouldn’t want that for their community?

Will these marriages fail?  Of course.  “Normal” marriages fail.  However, to deny marriage based on sexuality with such weak excuses as I’ve heard says very little for us as a community or a society.  We lose nothing in the proposition.  However, what we can gain is huge.

So really?  What’s the REAL reason for denying same-sex couples the right to marriage?

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