As a child, without prompting or input, I knew I was a feminist. I was very big into I can do what I want and will. I hung out with boys, mostly, because I didn’t really understand girl code. I didn’t get how I could be friends one day and not the next. I didn’t get how I couldn’t say to someone I don’t want to without being shunned. But that’s not to say I didn’t want a tribe of female friends. It’s more that a tribe of females didn’t want me.
Perhaps this is merely an early indication of “When women start acting like human beings, they are accused of trying to be men.”
This only became more pronounced once I entered graduate school. There, I discovered a whole new world of female. This was a female who hung out with guys, often was in male-oriented professions, and disliked women greatly. They were anti-feminists because “they loved men.” Yet, they also expected to be “treated like ladies.” I found them confusing as hell because they were in graduate school. By nature I felt a female had to believe in the power of her abilities over stereotypical sex typing if she was going to be in that environment.
I was wrong, I think.
You see, the 90s ushered in a whole new breed of alleged feminists. These are the women who wanted it all, without sacrifice and work. If I had been male, I would have run fast and run far. I advised many a male friend to do that, but they had been raised by feminists so they believed in the women they were dating. Rubes.
These Martha Stewart wannabes were the worst and weirdest things to happen to women ever. Rather than excelling at jobs or professions, these women tended to work until mommy-hood. After all, feminism meant they could have whatever they wanted, husbands be damned, and they wanted to be stay at home mommies (’cause work is so hard!). They deemed being a mother the most important thing EVER and then proceeded to build a life around it, filled with DYI, elaborate kids’ birthday parties, life-style blogs, credit card debt, and mani/pedi/Yoga days. All because “my husband can afford for me to stay home.”
I wonder if, while these women were getting their MRS. degrees and playing with feminism for their own purposes, they ever once thought about the men they were encumbering into a live of 1950s servitude. Because honey, being a feminist is more than what you can get, it’s about raising ALL women to something close to equal. Something I’m sure you’ll discover when you’re forced to get a job after your husband dumps you for something remotely resembling freedom.
Just so you know, in my book feminist does NOT equal “everything a woman does is OK”.