Casting Spells

OK, I know this would send me to hell if I believed in deities and their counterparts.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Today I was having a conversation about some people in my school community who I find incredibly hateful, counter-productive, and generally off-putting.  They are mean girls personified in middle-aged bodies (although they don’t think that), with the snottiest of attitudes and demeanor.  While I take in the fake smiles and niceties, I don’t play in the sandbox.  My key instinct is to add big cats and see what comes of it.

These community destroyers had also gone hammer and tongs at someone I know.  My solution to stuff like that is to recommend taking a picture of the person (or many) and lining one’s cat box (or in my former case, carpet) so that the offending person can get a daily dose of what they give out.  Non-harmful, yet somewhat karmic in nature.  If you don’t have cats, just line your garage or car port.  Although, in extreme cases using it for target practice (bows and arrows or darts, your choice) is acceptable, but crossing over to crazy.

For some reason this reminded me that when I was younger, far less evolved (stop laughing), and a little bit more of a whack-job, I put a curse on an ex-boyfriend.  Yes, I did.  I should be ashamed to admit it, but here it is on the Internet for all to see, judge, and potentially send back the Sock Monkey Army they were buying me for my birthday as punishment.

Now mind you, I wasn’t an atheist then, so this was less silly then than it is now.  I asked the gods (yes, plural.  Don’t ask.) to grant him that which he believed he wanted more than anything.  Then, just to make sure I wouldn’t renege (I think that’s the right word) on it, I asked the gods to only remove the curse when he discovered that what he thought he wanted most he didn’t.

Needless to say, he’s still chasing the same elusive dream and not quite sure why things didn’t work out as he’d planned.  Apparently voodoo does work, or I’m just a good predictor of the future.  Either way, I guess, I win.

Now you can condemn me to the fiery gates of hell.


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