I apologize right off the bat to Cassie, whose love language I’ve already forgotten, but who brought this to my attention a while ago. I’ve been thinking on it, but didn’t actually think to address it until now. What’s interesting is that this has been around for 20 years, was a best seller, and I had no clue. (Laughing). Apparently, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. There’s also a quiz. 🙂
The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Apparently I’m into words of affirmation, quality time and physical touch. Then again, most of the pairs didn’t make much sense to me. I wouldn’t have selected either option.
I can say that I’ve taken reading this page as a way to reflect upon my own marriage. I think knowing what I like is less important than knowing what Taed likes. After all, if this is a partnership then it’s my job to feed our relationship with the love that is important to Taed.
I can tell you right away I screwed up at Christmas when I didn’t go to the post office for him. I was being lazy and, well, really lazy. I didn’t put his needs above mine, especially given that mine wasn’t important. It wasn’t that I don’t love Taed, it’s that I wasn’t willing at that point to make my love for him paramount. What would have cost me little to do, cost me a lot in my marriage. I angered and hurt him — never good things. But I learned. Will I fail again, sure. Hopefully, though, he can continue to forgive me. So I learned that acts of service are important to Taed.
I know that quality time is important to Taed. He wants us to do things as a family. He wants company even if it’s just running an errand. He made a point of telling me that he feels unimportant and unloved when he arrives home and we don’t acknowledge him. I know for two weeks I was good about making that a priority, but now I’m wondering if I’ve made it a point lately? I think that’s a good task for this week’s list. After all, if he doesn’t feel valued, will he continue to come home on time? I know his presence is important to me because I worry when he’s not home by a certain time. The least I can do is to get off the computer, phone or whatever, and give him time to be with us.
While I don’t put huge amounts of stock into such “pop psychology”, I do put stock into my marriage. I don’t want to get divorced ever. I adore my husband and don’t want to live without falling asleep next to him. Sure, I get annoyed like anyone else, but I realize that I ain’t easy (as Jerome says). My real life goal is to be going on 90+, sitting with Taed, having the same arguments, and realizing a life of love and togetherness. I want true death, not the death of love, to do us part.
Imagine, being in love and making it work your entire life. Isn’t that the most romantic thing of all?