Little Things

It’s no secret that I’ve been all over the place emotionally for the past 3-4 months, with no sign of letting up.  There’s just been a lot going on personally and professionally, with many adjustments to make, plus my own apathy/depression to deal with.  As such, I tend to spend a good part of each day reviewing my many errors.  Fine tooth comb and minute details are my expressed interest.

It goes without saying that praise is in short supply for me.  It often feels to me that what I do is of no consequence because, whatever manages to happen, it will still be wrong and it will most definitely be my fault.  The few “good words” are combined with backhanded compliments, sly judgements, and sometimes even direct insults.  My ego is battered, bruised, torn, and ragged.  I suppose it’s no wonder I tend to spend a lot of time alone analyzing how I got here and what to do next.

Yet, on December 15th, out of the blue, in the midst of one of the lowest hours I’ve had in the past 6 months, Taed sent me an email.  The subject line: “I love you!”  The text: “I love you!”

It’s always in my mailbox.  I read it daily.  It’s one of the small things keeping me going at a time when I doubt my use, value, and impact.  It’s good to know you’re still worthy of being loved, especially when you’re not even sure you’re worthy of being liked.

It’s the small things.  Sweat them.  Truly.  You’ll never be sorry that you did something small and wonderful for another person.

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