The “A” Word

Sigh.  I really dislike anti-abortionists.  Perhaps I wouldn’t if the people who set out to be their spoke’s mouths seemed reasonable, educated and rational, but that’s rarely the case.  Most of the time it’s someone with an axe to grind who seems to have gone off his nut (see no Cream of Fetuses in OK).  And yes, for some reason it does seem that the most vehement are male.  The very ones who will NEVER have to face the chance of an unwanted pregnancy are the ones most wanting to push that onto someone.

First, I will give you that it kills a potential life.  I will give you that most pro-choice people, myself included, are not fully comfortable with that.  However, I won’t give you that the unborn child of a teen-aged girl who can’t really take care of herself is more important than the teen’s future contribution to society.  I don’t understand the idea of “you play so you pay” with only one half of the parents involved, nor do I really think that society has a right to force a pregnancy with the idea that it will produce the future adoptive offspring of an infertile family.  I believe statistics, over time, have shown that the stigma of an unwed teenaged mother is nil; therefore, there is no reason for these people to give up their children.  There is, however, usually a higher reliance on public assistance in these cases.  Teen mothers aren’t really prepared to go to school, work and take care of their children. Yet we want to punish them for getting pregnant.  With that in mind, who is really punished here?

While I’m more than okay with using my tax money to take care of children, society really isn’t. In the 80s there was a lot of backlash against welfare queen mothers who had baby after baby so they wouldn’t have to get off of public assistance.  I believe that many people still feel this way.  Wouldn’t then, the more logical choice be some sort of birth control?  Even abortion?

Most pro-choice advocates, myself include, don’t like the idea of using abortion as birth control.  Yet, most anti-abortionists are equally against any sort of birth control education, sex education or even access to birth control.  Insurance companies will fund access to Viagra, but not birth control pills. It seems to me that anti-abortion really means anti-population control.  Yet, again, we don’t want to PAY for these extra people.  It seems to me if you want them to be here, you must have an avenue for taking care of them.  In fact, we find them to be annoying and a nuisance.

As a teacher, it’s amazing how many students you get who really are unwanted.  Their parents don’t like them, have no interest in their futures or education, and in general find being a parent to be a job they never really wanted.  Sure, they liked the attention having a baby gave them.  They liked dressing the baby up and the cute factor.  However, when it came to the actual work of raising a child to adulthood, they didn’t want or like that.  They don’t want to sacrifice time to help with school work or to spend with their child.  They prefer to buy objects to keep the child occupied and out of their faces.  I’ve been told countless times that the parent has no idea how to control the child or to get the child to mind.  I fail to see how sacrificing a life to incarceration is better than not being there.  An unloved, unwanted child never truly connects with society.  There are huge costs.  Costs no one really wants to pay — education, welfare, social, and, in some cases, legal.

I believe fully that abortion needs to remain a legal right of women.  I don’t think you can know until you walk in that person’s shoes.  It is true that women have been recommended to receive abortions, haven’t, and gone on to have healthy children.  Mazel Tov.  Yet, it was still HER choice.  I believe that social issues can be restructured to minimize abortions numbers.  While it would be nice to say, only medically necessary, you have to take into account failure in birth control methods, rape, and change of heart.  Women with three children who are barely making it should not be forced into child-birth.  It’s not exactly cheap or easy, you know.  What is the benefit?

Yet to minimize abortion numbers we have to realize that we are sexual beings.  We need to consider the role sex plays in our lives and to decide how to deliver this to our children.  We need to create a world in which it’s true that every child is loved, cherished and wanted.  We need to allow people who opt out of being parents to do so without stigma.  But mostly, we need to realize that if we, ourselves, don’t want an abortion, we don’t have to have one.

But we must never lose sight of the fact that the largest percentage of people living in poverty and receiving welfare are women and children.  We can never lose sight that giving birth doesn’t make someone a mother.  We need to realize that existence doesn’t equate love.



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