On Tuesday, August 30th, our dear cat, Amelia, died.
She was a dear, wonderful, loyal friend. She loved any warm spot she could find, chasing the sun around the house to lay in its rays. She would sit on my lap when I typed in the morning. She sat on my chest at night while I tried to read, making sure I “groomed” her and gave her love. She guarded the house, and made sure the garbage cans were free of chicken bones. She loved chicken, shrimp, being with us, and company. And, save for the whole peeing on the carpet thing, she was the best cat I’d ever had.
I miss her. Terribly. I still haven’t gotten past her being gone; although, I knew it was coming up. She gave us clues that she was ready to go.
1) She stopped grooming. This task fell to Taed to make sure that her fur wasn’t matted. For the longest time she was just the most beautiful cat. Seeing her stop caring was hard.
2) She lost weight. She had gotten down to 5 pounds. She’d always been around 11. She was strong and forceful. Now she was small and quiet.
3) She stopped being with us. This was by far the hardest. She wouldn’t even lay where our things were. After years of finding my clothes covered in cat hair, suddenly we were free from her presence.
4) She stopped talking to us. For a while she’d howl at night, like she couldn’t find us. Suddenly she went quiet. It was eerie and sad.
5) She stopped eating and drinking. I wanted so much to force her to do both. However, I couldn’t. I had to honor her. I had to honor her wishes. I had to give up control and allow her die with dignity in a place of her choosing, at a time that was natural. It was the hardest thing I’ve done in the past 15 years.
I still look for her. She used to greet me at the door. I’d look for her in the middle of the night. I look for her in my closet. She’s not there. I feel her Amelia-ness here in the house.
For years I’d half-assed joked that “wasn’t it time for her to die ’cause Mommy wanted new carpet”. I suspect it was my way of distancing myself from her aging. Of course I haven’t thought much about carpet, because I’d deal with pee spots any day for my Amelia.
She was a good girl. There will never be another Amelia.