If I Had A Magic Wand

I'd misuse it. I'd squander the opportunity.


Apparently it's the day for cuing evil laughter.

Look, I teach middle school because that's my general maturity level. While Harry Potter films show the use of wands for transporting, disarming, killing, and transfiguration, I'd probably only use it to turn people into toads.

Why toads? First of all, not only is the word toad funny, but they are pretty odd looking creatures. Some, the ones that eat mice, are pretty freaking cool, but most are just toads.

Second, my sister used to use the word toad as an insult. It's a pretty good one. It inspires disgust and repulsion.

For that alone, I would just use my wand to turn annoying, nasty, awful people into toads. Mind you, I'd have to control myself as I could see me wanting to do this while people drive. No matter how annoying or offensive, that's just a stupid dangerous thing to do. Plus the toads would probably survive the crash. Who wants that?

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