If I Could Get Away with Committing a Crime

I'd make it worth my while! 🙂


When I first read this prompt, I thought, "Murder. I'd kill someone." Mind you, I don't currently have anyone in mind which makes the response pretty useless. I have, in the past, had a small list of people (including political leaders) I thought the world could live without. I still feel no one would truly miss them if I had them killed, but I'm no longer passionate about it.

What I am passionate about is money. Not money for money's sake, that's just ignorant. No, I want money because I have plans. Bad plans. Redistribute your wealth plans. (cue evil laugh).

Straight up, I would embezzle a HUGE, GROSS, INAPPROPRIATELY large Lehmann Brothers/Wall Street bail out kind of money. Then, swear to God true life story, I would spend it.

On education. Yep, I'd set up foundations around the country and work on restoring education to being something a kid would actually look forward to doing. I'd build my own buildings with math labs (kitchen equipment included), science lab, art rooms with kilns, music rooms, a FABULOUS two story magical fairyland library, a garden on the roof, two gyms, multiple media centers manned by IT personnel and media experts, a longer school day, and decently sized classrooms.

I'd build these in poor neighborhoods and name them after civil rights leaders. I'd find people who were passionate about teaching and knew how to do it despite standards. I'd look for people who had so much sick leave built up that they could buy credits towards retirement, and you know what? I would PAY THEM WHAT THEY ARE WORTH.

Sure, stealing is wrong, but if you're going to do it at least make it seem like the best thing you ever did so everyone will forgive you for it.

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3 thoughts on “If I Could Get Away with Committing a Crime

  1. Jolene says:

    Oh I want my kids to go to your school.

  2. Suzanne says:

    I’d love my kid to go to this kind of school too.

    BTW, my murder fantasy is to take some of the more “interesting” spouses I’ve known, get them to go to Mt. Everest with me, then deny them oxygen or kick them off hoping they’d be impaled by an ice shard. Oops. 🙂 I admit, it’s sick. It’s sad when you don’t like the people your friends and relatives are married to. 🙂

  3. Jolene says:

    Awh… I love you and don’t think you are sick. I do recall a subject like this before, only it was a winding stair cases. 🙂

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