Good Parenting List

This is not at all mine.  I’m just reposting it because I think it’s interesting.  I’d like to actually dissect it using my parents as guinea pigs (plus my 20/20 hindsight and myth management skills! NOT. :P) to see if I had a “good childhood”.  Then I want to look at myself to see where I’m lacking (this makes me giggle.  I don’t know why.).  Again, it’s from Marvin Marshall’s site (email really).  I like his ideas, even when I’m imperfect as delivering them.


The following is from “WHAT MAKES A GOOD PARENT? A
scientific analysis ranks the 10 most effective
child-rearing practices” By Robert Epstein, Scientific
American Mind, November/December 2010, pp. 46-51

THE PARENTS’ TEN (page 49)

Here are 10 competencies that predict good parenting
outcomes, listed roughly in order from most to least
important. The skills–all derived from published
studies–were ranked based on how well they predict a strong
parent-child bond and children’s happiness, health and

1. LOVE AND AFFECTION. You support and accept the child, are
physically affectionate, and spend quality one-on-one time

2. STRESS MANAGEMENT. You take steps to reduce stress for
yourself and your child, practice relaxation techniques and
promote positive interpretations of events.

3. RELATIONSHIP SKILLS. You maintain a healthy relationship
with your spouse, significant other or co-parent and model
effective relationship skills with other people.

4. AUTONOMY AND INDEPENDENCE. You treat your child with
respect and encourage him or her to become self-sufficient
and self-reliant.

5. EDUCATION AND LEARNING. You promote and model learning
and provide educational opportunities for your child.

6. LIFE SKILLS. You provide for your child, have a steady
income and plan for the future.

7. BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT. You make extensive use of positive
reinforcement and punish only when other methods of managing
behavior have failed.

NOTE: The author appears to be unaware of the differences
between PRAISE and ACKNOWLEDGMENT or the differences between
A PROCEDURE and a CONSEQUENCE–both of which are described
in the book:

8. HEALTH. You model a heathy lifestyle and good habits,
such as regular exercise and proper nutrition, for your

9. RELIGION. You support spiritual or religious development
and participation in spiritual or religious activities.

10. SAFETY. You take precautions to protect your child and
maintain awareness of the child’s activities and friends.

The article also noted that two of the best predictors
of good outcomes with children are indirect: MAINTAINING A
OWN STRESS LEVEL. (Caps added)


One thought on “Good Parenting List

  1. kloppenmum says:

    Interesting that number two is stress management… yet there are so many parents spending hours racing from activity to activity each day. I’m all for a FEW out of school formal (as in an adult in charge) activities for children over nine…before then – do they really need them?

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