I’m the first to admit that I am a deeply flawed human being. Despite my best intentions, sometimes I just come across as a jerk. Sometimes it’s because I’m expressing my point of view, sometimes it’s because I don’t respect the other person, or it’s the way in which I express my conflicting opinion. Needless to say, I’m not nice about the next subject.
Don’t want one? Don’t have one. Really. It SHOULD be that easy. I have some other ground rules that aren’t very popular as well. They can be enumerated.
- If you PHYSICALLY cannot and NEVER have been able to give birth, you don’t have an opinion. You’re going to speculate on something that will never come true and judge others by your non-existent firsthand knowledge. Uh, no. This means pretty much that MEN should stay the hell out the of argument.
- Wait! You’re male and you want to weigh in because “it’s your baby too.” I have to ask, did you PLAN that baby? As in, did you and the BABY MAMMA have that discussion? No. See #1.
- If you did plan it and your BABY MAMMA goes south, I now want you to consider the rest of your life trying to raise a baby with someone WHO DID NOT WANT THAT BABY. Are you putting away money for psychiatric services for that child? No? See #1. Yes, well then, argue your case.
- You had an abortion and you’ve always felt guilty about it. Especially after you met and married a nice Christian man who reminds you that you sinned against God. However, that nice Christian man would have never married some &*%$ who got pregnant out of wedlock so… I guess you got lucky.Aren’t you really just changing your tune now that you are in a cushy position? Isn’t after the fact a little late? Oh, they forced you into it? Let me tell you, I’ve had enough friends and relatives who’ve actually procured one. Every clinic I’ve been to as “support” errors on the side of caution. This was during the “liberal” 80s (save for some relatives in the 90s whom I only know about through family gossip). No one was forcing ANYONE.
- You had an abortion, but you always felt it was wrong, so now you want to make it wrong for others too. Wait, you had 3? Seriously? Hypocritical at all?
- In your day it was a D & C. How delightfully Mad Men. F*ck you too.
- You’ve always wanted to adopt but these selfish girls just keep getting abortions so there’s no child for you to adopt. I say this sincerely, there are children in need of parents. Not necessarily a lot of “cute, white babies” but children. Maybe a little flawed, but children. If you love children, you’ll adopt regardless.
- You’ve always felt like “those who play should pay.” I hate to tell you this, but the person who pays is the unwanted child. If you’ve ever worked with children at all, they want to be loved and wanted by their parents. It’s psychologically painful for them to be rejected, not loved, or resented by their parents. You actually think that’s better than no knowledge whatsoever? Are you taking them in to help them?
- You think it’s all about money. If the “mother” has things like a baby tub, blankets, clothes, and such then pregnancy is “affordable.” You forget that we’re talking about human life. It takes a hell of a lot more than STUFF to raise a baby. It takes a deep reserve of love, sacrifice, devotion, and willingness to put that child (and subsequent children) first 24/7 for the next 22-25 years. Not everyone is up to that job.
- It’s part of your religious doctrine. I refer to the preface. Don’t have one. However, don’t cast stones.
- You think it’s the new “Holocaust.” Seriously? You should be b*tch-slapped for even suggesting in. You suggest that parents who are aware they aren’t ready to be parents and may not even be GOOD parents are on the same level as Hitler annihilating an entire RACE of people based on hatred? If that was that case, wouldn’t these people be kidnapping babies and killing them? Are they forcing pregnant women off the street into Planned Parenthood? No, of course not. That’s just silly as is this argument. In fact, of the women I know from the 80s and 90s who did this, 90% are parents now. Funny how that works. Most actually like and love children.
- Women will regret it later. I’m sorry but life is like that, isn’t it? There is no guarantee. You cannot make policy based on the regret of some. Hell, we wouldn’t have an armed military force if regret and unfortunate side-effects were cause for making something illegal. Not every person is fertile. Not every woman can carry a baby. Did abortion cause infertility or inability to carry a fetus, perhaps. Perhaps not as well. Hindsight is 20/20.
- The church is against it. Well, it is now… It wasn’t always. The church was also into polygamy for a while. That’s passed by as well. Times change.
- Women back in the day… Let’s be honest, women back in the day were poor when they had loads of children. Children would starve, die of disease, or not have enough. Men are interesting because they will sow, but they aren’t much for tending what grows in the garden. The Scarlet Letter completely shows what happens to a woman who bears a child out of wedlock. Surely you’re not suggesting this is preferable?
- Freakonomics. I suggest you go ahead and read about the direct correlation between this and crime rates. Sad, but true.
I have nothing against anyone who considers life as starting from conception. I see your point. I understand if you feel that all murder is senseless and should be avoided. However, I spay and neuter my animals. We euthanize puppies and kittens when they can’t be taken care of. We murder people who violate crimes against humanity. While it’s true that the “innocent” within the womb has not done any of these things, it’s also true that the woman’s body plays host to it for 40 weeks. During that time, anything she does can and will be used against her not only in a court of law but in the court of public opinion.
Motherhood is not for the weak or unprepared. Forcing people into this is uncivilized. I’m sorry I have to be the one to point it out, but it is. You don’t force men into vasectomies. We don’t sterilize people (anymore, that we know of) because of concerns. Therefore, it is important to society that we self-monitor our ability to actually raised citizens. As it is, I hear WAY too much about kids whose parents don’t care. From my perspective, we aren’t doing a good enough job at this.
Yes, I’m a jerk. But I already told you that.