Lies, Damned Lies, and High Heels

I’ll admit it, I’m a bit of a shoe whore.  As such, I love the look of shoes and own more than I should.  I love to look at shoes, imagining wearing these beautiful, shiny, sparkling little pieces of art on my feet.  I fancy such items will transform me into someone graceful, gorgeous, and sophisticated.  In truth, Sasquatch and I shop at the same shoe store.  We share both size and style, which is… sensible at best and matronly at worst.  There is no beautiful, shiny, transformative shoe in my future.  I know this because I keep trying and after 43 years, I think it’s time to admit defeat.

The latest incident occurred on Tuesday.  I have purchased a pair of Dansko shoes in a heel.  They are black suede, aren’t sparkly at all, but do have a heel.  I had hope.  They looked nice with my skirt.  To tell the truth, they hurt before school even started.  I know, I know.  I didn’t take a spare pair because I thought I’d get used to it.  After all, I’m ALWAYS being told how comfortable high heels are by my colleagues.  I’m told I just need to get used to them.

My colleagues are, I might add, liars. As of yesterday my pinky-toes were swollen with incredibly large, uncomfortable blisters. Sure, you can say that this was the first time I wore them; I didn’t break them in properly; WHATEVER other excuse you have.  The fact is, my feet were KILLING ME!

Sure I was hip to the dirty little secret of wearing slippers after school (Slippers!  Seriously?).  However, I didn’t know that they kept low shoes, often flip-flops, in their classrooms to wear while teaching.  Yes, steam is coming out of my ears. If they’re so damned comfortable, why aren’t you wearing them in class?  So the “culture” is professional dress with matching shoes.  The reality is, as long as the door is closed and no one is looking, they’ll wear the comfortable shoes.  NICE.

It did, however, teach me that my feet and my comfort are really incredibly important.  This week I did something I’ve NEVER done.  I wore knee-length dresses without wearing the appropriate (in my mind, high-heeled) shoe wear for my leg type.  I wore my usual Clarks or Mephisto sandals with my dresses.  Every day I’ve been told I look nice.  No one has mentioned my Schwarzenegger-sized calves.

With that in mind, I will not buy into the high heel myth of finding comfort.  I will not restrict my dress choice based on not having the “right” shoe wear.  Instead, I will enjoy dresses with the shoes I own.  ‘Cause it’s true.  If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t NO BODY happy.


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