Through Thick and Thin

Yes, we've talked each other into doing stupid things. That's what friends are for.

Best Friends

(ironic smile)

The past week has found me disturbed and vaguely uncomfortable by the number of women who have declared that "(Insert number here) years ago, I married my best friend." I suppose part of it is that I don't consider my husband as my best friend, which is odd because I tell him everything. Not only that, he's the first person I think of when I want to share news.

Instead, I think immediately of Cassie. As is the case with many women (particularly women of my age), she's not my first, or only, best friend. In fact, I can't even guarantee that I fulfill the same capacity for her. Still, for the past 15 or so years, she's the person I think of when I see or hear BFF.

I can't even remember when she passed into that capacity. When I meet her in high school, I wasn't even nice to her. We didn't hang out in ninth grade. That's when I met Cindy, who WAS my best friend. Instead, we were on the same Mock Trial team. I'd say that's when we started hanging out. However, she had a group of friends and so did I. We were friends, but certainly not best, bosom buddies. We grew closer in junior year, but my friend-romance was still Cindy.

Our senior year found me, Cindy, Marcus, Dan and Paul as a very tight group with room for pretty much no one else. I saw Cassie at school, but we weren't doing a lot together. Once college happened, it was anybody's guess if we'd stay friends.

However, it was during college that we started to hang out more. She'd return to Des Moines to work, and we'd go to the movies and shopping. I didn't call her there (it was a dorm situation. I wasn't calling the hall phone to chat), but we'd hang out summers, holidays, and weekends.

I'd say that we really solidified our bond when I moved back to Des Moines after my failed attempt at graduate school and my subsequent attempt at adulthood in Madison. We bonded over failed romances, difficulty with jobs and colleagues, living at home, musical interests, shopping, dating, and striving towards real adulthood.

Once I moved to Cali, she became my roots. She grounded me, knowing my background, dispensing sage advice and listening to my stories. She managed to help move me towards the life I live now. Strangely, even though it wasn't planned, we both ended up teaching school at about the same time. She had a credential and I was flying by the seat of my pants.

Over the years, we've bonded over similarities, common backgrounds, and similar goals and desires. We're not twins; in fact, we have a lot of differences. However, mutual respect and time have cemented our bond. In fact, now I consider her more family than friend.

As for being through thick and thin that's true — both in times of trouble and pant sizes. LOL!

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