George Michael

I try not to get involved in the personal lives of celebrities, but this is just one of those cases that BEGS to be addressed.

Dear Mr. Michael,

Apparently coming out of the closet has done nothing for you personally or professionally.  While we’re all for self-destructive behavior, yours really isn’t interesting enough to capture the attention of a nation, let alone the world.  Either you need to fully give in and go for it, or you need to become the governor of Iowa.  Why Iowa?  When we had a governor who had some trouble with the drink, he was driven everywhere.  Sounds like you need something similar.

Recap: go straight, find true love, self-destruct in a way that makes us stand up and pay attention, get a driver, or quit it.  Quite frankly your behavior is both annoying and silly.


Your Former Fans
The Jitterbugs


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