Cosmo Declares

That the thong is DEAD (as dead as any inanimate object covered with fecal matter delivering bacteria from bladder to bowels can be).   Apparently after years of seeing whale tail it’s time to retire this HORRIFIC piece of underwear.  Now I know it has its dedicated masses.  However, telling me “You get used to it” or “It’s really not that bad” are hardly reassurances that wearing a thong is… preferable.  You know what would convince me that the thong was  THE underwear revolution — its availability in men’s 3-packs at Walmart.  Men have easy sartorial lives, wear (mostly) sensible shoes, and own underwear which are comfy, but not attractive. If they’re willing to give that up for a thong, then I must be wrong.

But I’m not and Cosmo agrees with me.  Sure, they’ve attached themselves to yet another horrifying look for someone with (John Wayne’s) saddlebags, the boy short.  However, I can sorta get behind that ’cause I’m hoping the elastic will get stuck under a fat roll and stay there. See!  No panty line.

See, if you wait long enough, people will come to see the world with your warped world vision.  To the thong wearing throngs out there, stock up Baby, stock up!

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