I’ve come to realize that all entries are prefaced with background knowledge.
Admission: I was never into weddings. I can honestly say that I felt funerals were easier because they were done in a couple of hours and you didn’t have to take sides when they were over. As a child I never fantasized about being married. I never wanted the big white dress, a fancy wedding with flowers and favors, the dance and the rest of the crap that comes with it. First, I hate the profane exhibits that come with weddings. Something as personal as making life-long promises should not be viewed by someone who “happens” to know you. Second, the money spent is often some obscene amount with very little return. Then there are the demands and hostage situations that occur. Better to just get married and avoid weddings at all cost.
That said, not everyone is me. Therefore, I’ve spent the better part of 25 years hearing about women’s weddings. By the way, it’s ALWAYS the woman’s wedding. With metrosexuality, it’s become slightly less so, but let’s be honest. Those men make us uncomfortable. We’re never surprised when those marriages fail.
Women, however, LOVE to talk about their weddings. They wax poetic about the cost of the dress, the flowers, who made the cake (wedding cake usually always tastes like dirt with that crappy fondant on it. YUCK!), how many attendants, and yes, the presents. They complain about presents that can’t be returned for money (yes, it’s about the love between a man and a woman…), the hideous relatives (who had to pay to come) and their MIL who are out to RUIN their perfect days. Given how wacked out our “wedding” was, I can usually shut down such conversations in a short period of time. But not always. Bragging rights rein (plus I don’t have a gumball sized diamond that isn’t paid for to show my husband’s love. Instead, I have no debt or outstanding student loans. Take that pretentious twit!) especially when it comes to superfluous shows of conspicuous consumption.
What I’ve come to realize, however, is that the more important the wedding, the less important the marriage. Women who have gone on at LENGTH about their weddings will turn around to tell me they are divorcing –often within 5 years. When I express any sympathy, I’m always met with things like, “It wasn’t mean to be.” or “It’s for the best.” Really? All that fuss for what? Your day in the limelight princess?
I think it’s sad that the princess fantasy of being the belle of the ball takes precedence over the actual life together. It’s almost like compromise, growing together, forsaking others, and honoring each other is a distant memory. While it takes two to tank a marriage, I think placing the ceremony over the institution should be allowed into court as entering into a fraudulent marriage.