I am not trained in statistics, don’t really understand them aside from my perceived notion of their misuse, and have no desire to be taught. Nor am I trained in psychology or anything of that ilk. I am merely opinionated.
So here’s the thing. Yearly, the “statistic” that half of all marriages end in divorce gets tossed about. People make a big deal out of it. There are pop-psychologists consulted to explain why. There are charts and examples shown. Generally much is made of this only to have the story show up again a year later with new charts and experts. People are just stunned by this and demand to know WHY!
In my mind, this is a D’OH or DUH moment. Seriously? If the relationship choices are SUCCESS and FAILURE, there would only be 1 of 2 outcomes available. Think of it as head and tails on a coin. With that in mind, is it any wonder that relationships may not always be successful?
Now I know I’m being simplistic. No one wants to think that their relationship’s success hinges on fate or luck. People want to believe that it takes work. True that; it does. That said, none of the participants are hardly geared up and prepared to do this well. Most people, if you think about it, avoid work at all costs. Consider this: how many of your relationships have ended “successfully”? By that I mean, having a loving, working relationship without breaking up. ….uh. Exactly.
Most of us walk into marriage or relationships as failures in our last one. Seriously, if it worked, why aren’t we in it anymore? If this were climbing Mt. Everest, we wouldn’t allow us to take us as guides. Who wants a guide who fails more than he/she succeeds? Yet, in relationships, this is actually the norm. Most romantic relationships fail. They just do.
I don’t have an answer for this because I don’t see it as a valid question or concern. Given the “luck” of the draw, most of us should be happy we’re still in a relationship!