Things to Do for The Holidays

This is not my post — at all.  I was talking with my BFF, Cassie, and she remarked that she wanted to compile a list of activities she and her boys could enjoy during the holidays.  Whether she knows it or not, she’s all about making traditions.  So I sent this list to her, and she remarked: “This is going to have to be blogged!!!!!”  Unfortunately, I’m still not sure if she meant her or me.  Therefore, I’m posting the list.  I won’t be performing the list.  I hope that she will be taking on parts of it.
However, if you need ideas of what to do over the holidays, here are some that I dreamed up.  Mostly it’s about using YouTube to immortalize/embarrass your children.  I’m like that.

The List

1. Ding Dong Ditch with “gingerbread” houses.  This is a variation of May Day or You’ve Been Booed, only leaving a “gingerbread” house made from graham crackers,  canned frosting, and candy.  Imperfection is part of the charm. Here are two sites to give you a frame of reference. http://beenbooed.com/ and http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Gingerbread-Houses-Using-Graham-Crackers
2. Driving around looking at lights — extra points for letting any teenager in the family do the driving in the snow
3. Sending videos of the family singing Christmas Carols to out-of-town relatives
4. Popping popcorn on your stove/fireplace
5. Making suet bird feeder thingys for the birds (suet, seed, peanut butter, that kind of thing): http://www.instructables.com/id/peanut-butter-bird-feeder/ or http://web4.audubon.org/educate/educators/bird_feeders.html — remember to get pictures of the project, the hanging, and the happy customers
6. Seeing Santa at the mall and getting the entire family in the picture.  Extra points for awkward teenager on Santa’s knee poses.
7. Family secret Santa — pick each other’s names and do little things for each other or give small, but useful gifts.
8. Family game night — anything that brings people together.  I suck at this so the only game I’m good at is Family Flux.
9. Hot chocolate and Charlie Brown/Grinch — talk about the true spirit of Christmas
10. Tape your kids in a duet of Snow Miser and Heat Miser from A Year Without Santa Claus.  Upload to YouTube.  Count your hits. (partial lyrics here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_Miser)
11. Host a dessert party –everyone brings a dozen or 2 dozen sweet treats.  Sing and hang out. Extra points for each person bringing 12 copies of his her favorite mantra/Bible verse to share.
12. Teach your teenaged son or daughter to do doughnuts in the Walmart parking lot (OK, maybe not!)
13. Sledding or ice skating as a family — make up some special “reward” for whiners. LOL.
14. Festival of Trees or Holiday in the Park — whatever your town does to celebrate the winter
15. Make paper snowflakes and decorate the trees outside
16. Visit the senior center – take candy, toiletries, and gift cards.  Listen to their stories.
17. Watch 24 hours of “A Christmas Story”
18. Dress someone up as Ralphie — post to YouTube! LOL.
19. Decorate the house — pay attention to weird places — the bathroom, kitchen cupboards, etc.
20. Find 12 things per person to donate to Goodwill, Catholic Charities, etc.
21. Dress someone up as Linus from Charlie Brown Christmas to repeat the Bible verse at the end.  Post to YouTube.
22. Make some sort of Christmas yummy together. Eat or donate or both.
23. Actually go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve.  See what it’s all about.
24. Listen to Bill Cosby and laugh.
25. Snow Angels (if it snows).  Get pictures.
26. Make a blanket fort in your living room.  Hunker down with books and read to each other
27. Tape yourself reading “Night Before Christmas” for the future
28. Shrinky-dinks!
29. Celebrate Posada
30. Teach your son/daughter your favorite holiday recipe
31. Teenage Secret Santa/Snow In — invite your child’s teenaged friends, make each bring a gift, draw a name when they come in and put it on the gift, watch “cheesy” Christmas films and hang out.
32. Volunteer at the soup kitchen or church
33. Hugs — one each day +1 working up to 24 hugs by Christmas
34. White Elephant/Regift party — invite friends, teenagers, family, and have them bring weird gifts or things they don’t want — trade.  When done, anything left over is given to charity — no hard feelings.
35. Coupons for Grandmas — 12 things to do or help
36. Gift jars — what makes you special — try to fill one jar per family member — one idea per week (52)
37. Family memories — sit around and share family stories — write them down or record them
38. Gratitude cards — one card per day — “What I love about you is ..”
39. Make a terrarium
40. Plan a spring garden — flowers or food
41. Family prayer time
42. $20 Family Dollar — each person has $5 to spend at the dollar store.  What do they get and why?
43. Stockpile Twinkies and other Hostess products.  Make each other do silly tricks for them.
44. Each person writes a “story” for the yearly holiday letter.  Sign holiday cards and mail them no matter the date — even if they are late.
45. Gather all the change in the house and give it to the first bell-ringer you find

 

Free

When I was younger
my love for you was so
great that I put up
with things I accepted
from no one else

As I grew older,
I assumed love meant
accepting your silence,
the way you cut me
out unless you wanted
something, giving just enough
to keep me hoping, remembering…

I made excuses for your absence,
but I knew I was not your priority
I felt the scales tip, slowly, from
50-50, to 90-10, until I knew
the relationship was merely
a wisp of its former self

Existing only because
I was too tenacious to
let it go

Today, I cut the line
We’re both free

Good-bye

The Great Beyond

The watcher of the good-night
found human souls
weary
So he avoided them whenever possible
For their sorrow and
clinginess
Made his job all the more difficult

In their grief, they would remain
steadfast
by the side of the wanted
interfering greatly in the task he was there
to complete

He was to escort the soul
to the great beyond
the next level
heaven, hell, purgatory
nirvana

they were all the same
and he found the preoccupation with
them exhausting

Plus it really made his job hard
all those questions of
why are you here
where am I going
will I see so and so there

He didn’t know any
of the other souls who’d
passed
so many over time
and he didn’t like speaking in human
tongue

So he waited, he had to
out-wait
the human sorrow,
greed, grief, and medicine
always medicine

Until he could get the soul
alone, convince it to come
where it was needed
and to leave behind
the bothersome humans

of whom the soul
was no longer one of

since it was passing
to the great beyond

Well, How Did I Get Here?

I like the Talking Heads.  My favorite song, the one that reminds me of Taed, is a Talking Heads song — not this one, but one nonetheless.  However, as I reflect on my life, I have to wonder, “How did I get here?”

You see, 25 years ago I NEVER would have imagined the life that I have.  You see, I wasn’t going anywhere when I was 20.  I was going to finish college, go to grad school to become a librarian, return home to Des Moines, and live out life.  I was certain I was never getting married or having children.

Then, that didn’t happen.  By 25, I had returned home to Des Moines to work at the same insurance company my mom worked at.  I lived at home.  I had no path, no goals, and no idea what I was going to do.

Then, in October 1993,  Taed came to visit. Needless to say, my life changed that night.  For the better.  Always for the better.

Even though I haven’t always been ready to move into the land of maturity and adulthood, Taed has managed to get me there.  I always think it’s my idea.  It’s not.

I moved in with Taed in July 1994.  That’s 18 years ago. During that time I’ve become a teacher, a mother and a wife.  I’ve made friends, found community, and managed to live a life that’s pretty stable and happy.  I’ve managed (so far) not to fuck it up by being… well, me. I can honestly say that there is nothing good in my life that isn’t connected in some small way to Taed.

Today is his 45th birthday.  According to my stats, we’ve been together 19 years.  That’s a long time, yet it feels like nothing more than a day or a week.  Like water, the days flowed by.  And time isn’t holding us, time isn’t after us.  Once in a lifetime, I got lucky and met the love of my life.

And I couldn’t be happier.

Circle of Life

The circle of life
came to a close
too many times
this year

To one, in April
a sorrowful death
prolonged, painful
the doorway closed
before the mourners
could bid good-bye

The other, in August
sudden, coincidental
young, shining a light
on potential lost
where life was not a
burden, but a journey
unfulfilled

The circle is coming again
to one who is ready
desirous to meet
with her lord
to go home

She is waiting
for the circle to close
So we can go on
in the circle of life

Not Meant to Be

You should have known
about the false love I had shown
for never once had I sworn to stay
I was the one who ran away

You promised me
that by my side you’d always be
Yet I’ve thrown you out to sea
Alone is how I’m meant to be

I just cannot stand
standing by my man
playing grand
for everyone to see

I want something more
than being the bore
brimming with responsibility

I had filled my life
being your wife
a role not meant for me

Now it’s time for me to leave
and for you to grieve
A love that was not meant to be

Yes, It Sounds Like Yesterday

Once upon time
I was yours,
and you were mine
Until the end of time

But that was once upon a time

Unfortunately
you were not the man for me
and I stopped viewing you so dreamily
A fog was lifted off of me

I just had to go
your show
was too much for me

You were never there
and our pair
went separately

Once upon a time,
I was your, and your mine
And we planned until the
end of time

The end of time
came suddenly