Apparently this is the catchword for the summer because I’m seeing it everywhere.  I first saw it in reference to food.  I’ve put on 15 of the 75 pounds I lost, moving my total to 60 pounds lost.  This disturbs me both because it happened so quickly (within 2 months), and I wasn’t aware of really doing anything different.  Goes to show that extra 100 calories or so a day really catches up (although, if I’m honest, it was probably more like 250).

In all honesty, I had stopped tracking my food.  I didn’t fully  realize the full extent of this until I went to my “most visited” spot on my tool bar.  Weight Watchers was no longer listed.  Wow.  I had stopped doing something that I know to be positive for me and my weight.  I wasn’t mindful that I had stopped doing that, nor was I really being mindful of what I was putting in my mouth.  Because I wasn’t mindful, I was putting more in than I needed and probably not really enjoying what was going in.  After all, if I stopped tracking, I really had also stopped planning.  Food had become a chore that I didn’t want to acknowledge.  No wonder, huh?  And, truth be told, I wasn’t being mindful of my feelings.  I know I had a lot of anxiety, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.  Apparently denial is an antonym of mindful.

The word mindful has also arisen in the new curriculum I purchased for Home Economics.  Originally the class was called cooking and mad science.  That said, I’ve never taught cooking before, let alone without having a kitchen and tools.  I figured, realistically, you don’t just start by cooking.  So I researched and found this Mennonite curriculum.  Those who know me are probably gasping or giggling.  Yes, I bought religious materials.  That said, aside from the references to god (or that they fully expect only GIRLS to use this curriculum) it has a really nice scope and sequence.

What does this have to do with mindful…  Well.  Part of the curriculum is about teaching cleaning and organization.  The text is pretty clear that daily cleaning of 20 minutes keeps you from really having to do deep cleaning.  However, if you’re like me, deep cleaning is where you have to start (sounds like going to the dentist, doesn’t it?  Reminds me, I need to make an appointment for, yes –wait for it– deep cleaning!).  The curriculum really asks/demands that you be mindful when you start looking at your possessions.  The writers make it clear that sentimentality is not your friend because it will cause you to keep things that you don’t love and aren’t useful.  I know that most every organizational article has stuff of this kind, but this was the first time I connected it.

They also implore mindfulness when putting things away.  Again, if you just put things down without a place, you’re going to waste time cleaning, searching or having to touch it.  That a place for everything and everything in its place idea.  At the ripe old age of 42, I think I get it.  By paying attention the first time and really giving things the time they deserve, I can really do what’s right for me.  Sounds good.

Therefore, for the final 5 months of the year, I am going to be mindful of my actions, my food, and my things.  When I see that I have not touched something for a year, I will really analyze why I’m keeping it.  If, like today, I was just holding onto books from college for sentimental reasons, I will let go.  I haven’t touched them since we moved in; I won’t read them again; and it’s time to remove them from my space to make space for something else.

Mindfulness, it’s going to be a good thing.

Today’s Dear Abby had a letter from a young man who was having trouble letting go after a beloved pet was put to sleep.  Abby, of course, gave a wonderful discourse on the joys of being a dog, and how the dog’s quality of life declines greatly when he/she cannot pursue his/her life’s purpose.

I find this interesting because, once again, it demonstrates a very weird split in the American psyche.   I know a great many people who have taken the incredibly difficult and heartbreaking step in having their pet(s) put to sleep.  If you’ve never done it, I doubt your love has ever been challenged.  There is nothing more gut-wrenching than loving an animal and knowing that it’s time…  Yet, as much as you know it’s for the best, it’s hard.  I’ve cried often over the loss of my pets, even though I was at the helm.  Yes, they pass on peacefully.  Yes, it’s better than living in pain.  Yes, of course I loved them enough to want them free of pain, suffering, and the waiting for death part.  I did what was right, not what was easy.

Yet, with people it’s more complicated.  It’s sad to think that, as a species, we love our pets more than our friends/family.  Even in the 21st century, the idea of allowing someone to let go when it gets to be too much is something we prohibit.  I’ve always been amused by the idea of PUNISHING someone who tries to commit suicide.  Hell, what’s the punishment, death?

Before I die, I hope that we have a comprehensive flow chat, panel of doctors, and ethics benchmarks to allow people to appropriately decide if they are ready to end it all due to excessive disease or pain.  We do it for our animals, why can’t we do it for each other?  We need to allow for all people death with dignity.

I find this quote quite relevant in education.

We all want progress.  But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be.  If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road.  There is nothing progressive about being pigheaded and refusing to admit a mistake. — C. S. Lewis

While I want to enthusiastically yell, “Amen!” I, unfortunately, recognize that pointing this out doesn’t endear me to the people around me.  What I find curious about education is that we scream from the rafters the importance of selecting programs and curriculum that are research-based.  However, no one checks the research to see how well based it is/was.  People drink the Kook-aid, find other reasons for the lack of success (failure to show fidelity to the product is my favorite), and then buckle down to deliver the program “smarter not harder.”  No one ever considers that maybe, just maybe, the research is faulty.  We don’t really examine it.  We take someone at his/her word.  Someone, by the way, who is making TONS of money from school districts and has no reason to be completely honest with us.

I think in moving forward to progress, we need to really examine what it is that’s important.  What does society need?  What will our future citizens need to thrive?  Then we need to deliver INSTRUCTION that capitalizes on our goals.  Curriculum, however, we need to learn to take with a grain of salt.  After all, should we learn we’re traveling down the wrong path, wouldn’t it be nice for us to turn around rather than making proclamations about “The Emperor’s New Clothes”?

This is connected to the post on marriage.  Someone suggested that Americans are TOO into marriage.  As in marry, divorce, marry, divorce, etc.  Apparently we’re the lather, rinse, repeat of commitment. Someone else remarked that it’s not gays wanting to be married that is ruining the institution, it’s the divorce.   In other words, see Brittney Spears (or apparently Jon Goslin.  If that man is engaged, he deserves to have Kate rip him a new one.).

It’s interesting that I posted about whether marriage was an outdated ritual, when I was thinking about stuff we do at school.  Meh, there’s where the outdated rituals lie!

This week something came up about having kids visit the local high school to see what it’s like.  Uhm, it’s like school only the students are BIGGER, the day is LONGER, and you have more homework.  Do we really need a tour to tell us this?  Perhaps it’s tied to this weird California thing about school choice (which, like the swim clubs is minimizing your connection to “undesirables”).  You don’t just go to your neighborhood school, you pick the best school for you (allegedly.  We are talking teenagers here).  You know, the one that meets your needs.  This makes sense with colleges where you’re looking at a field of study (we hope) that is going to serve you well as you embark on a career.  However, visiting a number of high schools to decide which one is right for you, waste of time.  Seriously.

The usual argument is that it will show kids what high school is like.  Easy:  see those high school shows on TV where it’s really cool, kids have fun, no one looks ugly or unhappy,  and there’s no work whatsoever.  Not like that.  High school will be just like every other school you’ve been to, only now you’ll have to be more responsible.

These visits/tours are often brought up as a way to increase student motivation.  Most likely because on those days, teachers don’t teach what they normally do.  It’s like breakfast cereal, for 175 days of the year, you’re serving Shredded Wheat, Special K, Cheerios or something of that ilk.  To impress incoming kids and not make it threatening, you serve Frosted Flakes or Cookie Crunch Cereal.  Yep, bait and switch.  It does wonders for motivation.

We allegedly live in a media savvy world where kids “get” what’s going on earlier, faster, and with more insight than ever before.  If that’s the case, why are we clinging to these antiquated ideas of eduction?  Do we honestly think so little of incoming students that a pretty picture and easy work will influence their educational decisions?  Furthermore, if they’re that naive, do you really want to teach them?

While we’re at it, Back to School Night and Open House need to go too.  That’s just poor PR (we can do better) and dog and pony shows put together to allow for teacher shopping. It needs to stop. Come on, give me my paradigm shift, please.

I’ll preface this with the full disclosure that I never, ever thought I’d get married. I remember telling my mom that I was NOT going to have a wedding because I was NOT going to get married.  Add to this that I absolutely despise wedding stories.  There’s this part at the start of The Incredibles where Frozone notes that female superheroes are always trying to disclose their secret identities.  They think it makes the relationship stronger.  That’s how I feel about wedding stories, you want to strengthen our relationship through the sharing of your special princess day.  Spare me.  Please.  Not only don’t I care, I will revert to the horrifyingly nasty behavior of a 12-year old boy picking his zits at the dinner table.

That said, I got married (cue Miss Sug in The Color Purple, “I’s a married lady now!”).  I would say happily because I consider anything that’s not miserable and crying as happy.  I think content is happy.  I think day to day living is happy.  I seriously believe unless I’m feeling mad, depressed, pissed off-angry, evil, or out-and-out sad, that I’m happy.  I believe my marriage to be happy.  I’ll believe that until the day I have a reason not to believe it.  Then I’ll get over it and be happy again.  Unless it’s divorce…

Lately there’s been a lot about marriage in the media.  Jon and Kate certainly put the spotlight on the idea of marriage.  There have been articles in Time and The Atlantic regarding marriage.  There are the two sides to the gay marriage controversy. People are wondering if it’s an outdated ritual. Perhaps.  However, I’m more likely to think that there’s a paradigm shift happening in marriage right now.

I think there’s this wonderful 20th century mythology built around weddings and marriage. Women have intertwined being a bride not with being the woman of the house, but with being a princess for a day.  Damn, when those Cinderella fantasies go wrong… The idea is that they will be whisked away by their prince who will take care of them for their rest of their lives.  In my warped world view, why get married?  You go from one set of parents to a parent/spouse?  WTF?  This mythology strongly supports the idea of women as frail, fragile things that need to be taken care of — not equal partners.  For once,  Hedda Gabler makes complete sense.

Men, I think, feel that they will get Alice (maid; The Brady Bunch) only in a sexier form.  Someone whom their friends will call fun, their boss will call pretty, and whom they may call their very own.  “He Thinks He’ll Keep Her” alright. His fantasy is that she will never change, never demand, always submit, and make him look good.  Who can live up to that?  More-so, is he prepared to never change, never demand, and to make the house, home, family look good?

Yet, the interesting thing is that every day people do want to live up to those “expectations”.  They do try to be that Prince or Princess for the one they love.  I daresay, if marriage is an outdated ritual, why is it the lightning rod issue against gays that it is?  It’s precisely because people really do want that other person in their lives.  Marriages, like people themselves, are quite varied.  Some people do meet their prince or princess, some are natural caretakers/housewives, some go on like they’ve just met — giddy in love, some are arranged, and some are made from brilliant best friends and partners.  Everyone wants that someone they feel completes them.  They just don’t want them for now, they want them forever.

Marriage, like many other ideas in society, needs to be allowed to evolve. Marriage needs to be able to be what is important to those two people.  Let’s be honest, the testimonial is alive and well.  People want to be married to show others.  What they show can be: we made it, I’m lovable, I met the person of my dreams, I’m happier than I’ve ever been, isn’t he/she beautiful?… People also want the protection of marriage — the commitment.

Honestly, you can say that you don’t want someone who promises to cherish you until death do you part? I thought I didn’t want to be married, but even I wanted to be cherished.  I still do.

Maybe it’s not marriage we need to examine, but our willingness to commit long-term to a marriage that’s not always “happily ever after”.

I’m pretty embarrassed to admit this.  I did not realize until this summer that there really are no public swimming pools in our area — maybe all of California.  How could I not know this?  I’ve lived here for 15 years now.  You’d think I would have noticed.  I mean, there is one at Washington Park up the street, but it’s pretty run down and small.  It’s not like what I grew up with.  More to the point, it seems to be used primarily for community swimming classes.

Perhaps the reason I didn’t notice is that our townhouse complex has a pool.  Since our gate opens to it, it seems like it’s ours.  Maybe the Washington Park pool tricked me; although, admittedly I’ve been to many parks without pools.  Many have some sort of water play — is that the reason?

I also noted that many of Keb’s classmates aren’t available because they’re going swimming at “their club.” At first I found this quaint and weird, then I realized that if you don’t have a pool you kinda/sorta/haveta belong to a club.  Yet, I find the idea of a swimming/tennis club to be wrong.  I can’t pinpoint the real word, but it’s wrong.  You’re paying money to belong to a club to swim where no one else can swim unless they can afford it.  It might not be racist, but it’s certainly class-ist.  Heck for fun and entertainment, I went searching for fees.  As they say, people who can afford it don’t look at price tags.  <sigh>

It seems to me that Californians, with their perceived liberal attitudes (not), would find such things unacceptable.  After all, if you’re all about “diversity” wouldn’t you be willing to take your kids to a “mixed pool” for swimming.  Why have private swim clubs?

Seriously, there is something so “separate, but equal” about this that disturbs me to the core.  It’s like the 60s never happened.  … or perhaps they just didn’t get the memo.

You ever have those times when you start about a dozen projects and then don’t finish any?  Then they just sit there STARING at you, willing you to finish?  <sigh>  That’s my brain right now.  I have all these ideas and plans floating around in my brain, yet I can’t FOCUS enough on any one of them to actually get started doing SOMETHING.  It’s frustrating, to say the least. Obviously this is where prioritizing, setting a goal, making a plan, creating a time-line, and having follow-through would be effective.  Yet, here I sit…

I recognize that I have the most trouble focusing when I have unstructured time.  For some reason I end up feeling anxious.  I’m forever looking at a calendar, into the future, and missing what’s in front of me.  I don’t know that being able to identify the problem is enough.  It’s clear that there is some procrastination involved.  I want things to be right…  I’m not ready to start.

When I think about what gives me the most pause, it comes to organizing my materials, cleaning and beautifying my house, setting up my classroom, and doing a deep clean/purge.  With that in mind then…

• Spend this week cleaning.  This would include the walls, because if I’m to paint, that will have to happen.
• Talk to Bill about painting.  Maybe I should leave this to an expert?  Maybe I can get Tracy to help?
• After general cleaning is done, get into the closets and garage.  Make the list, take the pictures, and send stuff to Goodwill.  It’s a good thing.
• Sketch out the classroom.  Know that a lot of elements are already in place. Map out the rest.  Relax and remember that things can be MOVED.
• Make time to go to Carol’s to use her Cricut machine.  Remember that she lives near school and is my friend.  I don’t have to do it all during one afternoon.
• Schedule one day each week to just relax.  Remember that this is a vacation of sorts.
• Paint the downstairs bathroom, the living room/dining room, the upstairs hallway, and maybe Keb’s room.  Focus on small, do-able projects first to gain confidence with the painting process.
• Ask for help when needed!
• Look for and buy curriculum for cooking/mad science.  Figure out and create a solar oven and slow-rising breads.
• Be OK with ripping apart my Mailbox and Teacher’s Helper Magazines to create files of skills.  If I wait to photocopy, I’ll have piles EVERYWHERE.
• Don’t change everything at once, take baby steps.

Well, I feel better having thought it through. Now let’s see what comes of it.

I’ve now been in Portland for about 24 hours.  Here’s what I’ve learned.

• They are a “dinner” place; not a breakfast place.
• The homeless are pretty brazen and approach people with great frequency.
• Most of the cool stuff happens on weekends.
• While they consider themselves organic, natural, and into the environment, they smoke like fiends.
• They smoke here — A LOT.
• It’s pretty easy to get around by foot and by rail.
• Restaurants, no matter how empty, will ask if you have a reservation.  They will act put out that you don’t.
• Most places have wine or beer as part of their “atmosphere.”
• There are surprisingly few pigeons given the number of trees.
• The river walk area isn’t as long as you’d think.
• There are a lot of people on bikes.
• There seems to be a Starbucks on every corner.
• Most of the people on bikes in the morning are walking them while drinking Starbucks.
• The zoo is pretty pathetic.  The penguin exhibit was enough to make me blow chunks.
• The Rose Garden is amazingly cool.  There are so many, and the are is so peaceful.
• Kenny and Zuke’s is a great place to eat.  It is not, however, a great place to be served.
• If you tell the doorman at The Governor that  you’re walking to the zoo from your hotel, he will try to dissuade you.  He is doing you a service.  That said, it’s a nice walk, and you can take the train into the zoo.
• The Governor Hotel will try to make your experience nice and right.  Stephanie at the front desk ROCKS.
• You’d think a place called South Park wouldn’t have good food.  It’s a nice wine bar/dinner place.  Great hummus and a good blended Portuguese white.
• I haven’t seen a McDonald’s, Taco Bell, KFC, or other “normal” fast food restaurant in the downtown area.  I have seen Subway and Chipolte.  Most of it seems pretty mom and pop places.
• There are 3 Irish pubs on (what seems to me) the same block.  One has a library ladder to get the liquor down.  That’s a LOT of liquor.
• Public transit from the airport was cheap and easy.  That’s pretty cool.

As a rule, the way I am normally is as relaxed as it’s going to get.  I’m not, by nature, someone who can just sit at a bar listening to the local band playing and chill. In fact, that’s the recipe for sending me into some sort of weird hyperdrive.  The fact is, I find that BORING.  I don’t know the people so I’m not willing to dance.  I can’t hear (neither can anyone else) so you can’t talk.  What’s left is eating and drinking.  Yeah, I need more of that. UGH.

Since school has ended, I’ve been mulling things over in my mind and started (but not finished) my to-do list.  When I bring this up, people tell me to relax.  Just sit, do nothing.  I do — it’s called watching TV.  However, in the meantime, it’s good to ponder and work on HOW to help the students master what they need to know the following year.  It can’t hurt, and it might help.

I realize that people think they are being helpful, but I don’t sit well, and the advice doesn’t sit well with me.  It’s up there with pointing out that I’ve gained weight. Yes, I know, now leave me alone.  Let me have my little thoughts, mechanisms, and ponderings.  The fact that I don’t HAVE to be anywhere is what is relaxing to me.

Does that help?